Thinking Outside the White Picket Fence

When I was first divorced, I spent a lot of time learning how to think differently. I had my favorite daydreams I visited every time I needed cheering up, but all of a sudden, they were destroyed. For instance, I’d daydream about a big new house with a white picket fence, and our little babies running around inside, but then poof that dream was unavailable now, so it would dissolve. I’d cry for the loss of it. I used to dream of traveling, seeing the world with my ex and living life to the fullest in our retirement years. Then…that dream burst into inconsolable flames. This happened over and over. It was a very hard time. I did a lot of crying.

Then, my pie-in-the-sky, unrealistic, and awkward expectations of our broken relationship came into view. It was like expecting someone paralyzed from the neck down to run in the Olympics in two weeks then beating them up if they couldn’t. If things hadn’t changed, (divorce) and we had realized one or all of those daydreams, we’d have fought all the way through them. Then we would have accused each other for ruining a perfectly good opportunity. It would have been torture.

I also realized God wasn’t in those daydreams. I had built them with my own imagination. There was far too much strife there for Him to fit even a toe in. This “coveted” relationship actually stunted my growth with God. It got so bad that I’d yell at God and blame him for not making “my” dreams of the relationship come true. Had I ever asked God what was available in the relationship in the first place? Sure, the conversation went like this, “God can this relationship ever be what I want it to be?” Then before God could answer, “Of course it will, because this the only relationship I’m going to have from here on out and I better make it work. So I’ll just make a special dinner or treat him really nice for the next two days.”

Is it pride for me to hang on to all of that?

Pride is not only our enemy, but it’s our enemy’s favorite weapon. The devil encourages division and strife, because he knows that our temper gets us in trouble, and our pride keeps us there. Instead, we have to stop and look at the big picture.

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare [are] not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 KJV

If we need to cast down our expectations, then the knowledge of God must be a greater thing. Right? Why is the knowledge of God greater? Look what it can do.

“Now thanks [be] unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.” 2 Corinthians 2:14

“In Christ” means you’re walking by the spirit not by sight. God causes us to triumph and have a sweet savour of His knowledge in everyplace. WOW! How amazing! This is the same divine knowledge that created Adam and Eve, the same knowledge that redeemed mankind, the same knowledge that knows every hair on your head. Is this a greater thing? I hunger for this knowledge now. It’s like Jeremiah said;

“Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts.” Jeremiah 15:16

Is this to say we should not have our own dreams? NO WAY! God created the ability to dream didn’t He. Here’s how we direct it.

“That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what [is] the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.” Ephesians 3:17-20 KJV

Is this a bigger dream for our life than we could possibly imagine? What if we believed just one of these power-filled verses? Can we even imagine the potential that God sees we have? I just need to give Him half a chance.

A great way to practice is, God if you were me, what would you dream for my life?

God bless you today. You are LOVED!

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