A Laugh and a Half…

“Look not every man on his own (concerns) things, but every man also on the (concerns) things of others.” Philippians 2:4

I thought you could use a chuckle today.

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“Be Ye Fishers of Men”

You catch em’, I’ll clean em.

God~

Bulletin Bloopers

  • Potluck supper Sunday at 5. Prayer and medication to follow.
  • Don’t forget; on New Year’s Eve the church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment and gracious hostility.
  • Attend our prayer breakfast next Saturday You will hear an excellent speaker and heave a hearty meal!
  • Yet another Youth Group bonfire was cancelled. (We really might not plan any more Youth Group bonfires.)

Seen on a Bumper Sticker: If 10% of my income is okay for God, why isn’t it good enough for the IRS?

A frustrated dad of a teenager was complaining to his church’s youth pastor. “I try to discipline Scott by sending him to his room right after supper,” he said, “But he has his own high-def TV, a killer sound system, a state-of-the-art computer, a private phone and a mini fridge. I should be so lucky.”

“You know what you need to do?” the youth pastor advised.

“What?” the father said.

“Next time, send Scott to your room!”

If God is your co-pilot, maybe it’s time to switch seats.

Want to meet at my house before the game on Sunday? God~

If the Hebrew language has no vowels, does it only sometimes not have ‘y’?

“If you absolutely must have the last word, how about making it “Sorry’?” God

Every few years, someone says he’s found Noah’s Ark. Why is it always Noah’s Ark? How about Goliath’s sandals or Lot’s wife or something?

A Mother’s Declaration

All I want is peace on earth and…oh and chocolate…and really cute shoes…oh and my own set of wash cloths for the bathroom, you know the ones the boys don’t use to wash their turtle with….oh and peace and quiet, does that come with the peace on earth? Quiet?

Something to Ponder

Much Sunday school and Children’s church time is devoted to memorizing the names of the tribes of Israel. But how many of life’s big problems have been solved by memorizing the names of the tribes of Israel?

If gambling is regarded as a sin, why are church raffles, and Bingo okay? Discuss.

Tolerance in all things.

(Except for the ones we’ve talked about)

It’s been maybe 30 years since drums showed up in lots of church worship bands, but drummers still look nervous and jittery in front of a congregation–like they think someone’s going to say, “Drums? We can’t have drums in a church!” And the jig will be up. On the other hand, all drummers just naturally look nervous and jittery, so maybe that’s it.

Which is more disillusioning: learning there was no Santa Claus, or discovering that “cleanliness is next to godliness” is NOT, in fact, in the Bible?

Why do people call circumstance “God’s Timing” only when they don’t get what they want?

How did the Welch’s get to be the grape juice? Do the Welches know somebody?

Is it shallow to pray that someone will bring a really good peach pie to the potluck supper?

That’s all folks!

God bless you today!

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