What is the difference between cutting a relationship off forever and forgiving and moving on? How do you decide what a moment like that takes? It’s the moment you realize you’ve come to a truth intersection with someone, and they, or you, have to decide which way to go. Will you continue to travel with them? Will you let them continue to decide?
How will you decide?
The first thing to do is ask God. Sometimes we are way too emotionally attached and involved to hear from God clearly though. That’s when you go to a Godly friend privately and ask them to pray with you in confidence. God cares a lot more about this stuff than we think He does. He wants to let you know what to do, so keep listening, praying and working through it till you know you have an answer from Him.
The second thing to remember is always, always, always endeavor to walk in love. You might think that is a hypocritical statement in light of a looming “forever friendship cut”, but love, as in agape love, is never an emotionally based decision. We have to step out of those in order to operate it. Which means, in the case of abuse, we must not allow the manipulation or the persuasion from the abuser to carry our decision. We have to do what God would do in the situation. God might give them a chance, He might say cut them loose or He might say hang in there, this is going to change. You just don’t know because you only see the five senses stuff. You also must be ready for anything God might say. (That’s a tough one I know.)
HOW DOES GOD KNOW?
God looks on the heart. The heart is a cavern of roving emotions, thoughts and motives. Sometimes it’s as black as midnight and filled with evil. He takes His loving understanding, like a candle, into that heart and shines it on what it is going on.
He might see one of these two kinds of error when He looks.
The Judgement Error
This is when a good person, and a generally obedient to God person, makes an error of judgement. King David did this in the Bible with Bathsheba. He saw her taking a bath, got excited and took action. When he was confronted by Nathan, he humbled himself and repented. (2 Samuel 11-12) David became more humble, more perceptive, and more obedient after he was confronted. That is very different from the other kind of error. At the “truth intersection” he took the humility road. It was after this point that God said David was a man after God’s own heart.
The Error of Heart
This is the kind of error that has become a habit pattern in the person’s life. When confronted, they stand at the same truth intersection but react very differently. In fact, the Bible documents a five step process they go through that leads to taking the wrong road. Tomorrow we will go over the five steps. If you see them in someone you know and love, as a habit pattern of behavior you need to go to God about it. You should note that in that person’s life God is putting up these kinds of signs. WARNING,WARNING, WARNING! CLIFF AHEAD! It starts with the small decisions/intersections, the small evasions, and the small opportunities to escape blame. Habits always start small. The opposite of humility is pride.
God Gives Chance after Chance
In either case, God gives people millions of chances to humble themselves and change the direction of where they are going. These truth intersections come along millions of times in a person’s life, even up to their very last breath. We all have a choice of which direction we take. Will we confess their error? Or will they continue on down the pride road?
In the case of you and your relationships, God knows what is going on in the heart better than anyone. You may not know why He says to change your course, but then you might be at a truth intersection yourself. Which way will you decide to go?
See you tomorrow and God bless you today!