Hot Sex, Real Love, a True Companion, Can Christians have all three?

Here’s the scene. You watch in the mall, as three grown men ogle a woman wearing a dress too short for her leg length and a top cut too low for her shoulder width. She looks like a walking wardrobe malfunction, or a cry from the wild Amazonian jungle. But that’s just it…she isn’t walking she is sa-shaying away; hypnotizing the men with the sway of her hips. From that incident we women, who wear capris that are too long for our stubby legs, and a top named after a dead-old-maid, gather that men only want sex-appeal from us. As sure as I am that the first woman is stopping traffic and causing wrecks, I am also sure that men are smarter than that. What am I talking about?


Yes, sex and the kind that makes you sigh into your coffee with delight when your sweetie walks by the next morning. Here’s the difference between the first woman and the second. Confidence. Let me test this out on the men for a second. Have you ever seen your woman drop her conversation to watch a six-pack with no shirt working in a yard? Ah-hem…yes…you have. Women do the same thing won’t we? Could the men assume from seeing their women do is that all WE want is sex appeal from our man. Is that true girls? Nahhhh! Not at all!

(I can hear my mother now…Terri, this is a Christian website and you’re not supposed to talk about sex on here! Lol…) I’m not talking about just sex. I’m talking about GOOD sex, with respect. Sure, it’s a Christian topic. I don’t want to have to bring up all the men and women of the Old Testament who “got it on,” to prove it to you. Or how much Paul had to talk about not getting it on with people outside your marriage. It’s all over the Bible.

There are 3 Kinds of Love; Agape (the love of God), Philos (familial/friendship love), and Eros (sexual love). If you build a relationship on the love of God, you’ll enhance the other two by using it. But if you are hot under the collar with eros, and then try to build the other two, you get it backwards. Sure… the sex is great, but after a while you don’t like the other person and things degrade from there.

Here’s the bottom line folks. God designed our bodies, He designed our minds, He knows what flips “the switch” for each gender and He’s not a prude. Take God out of the box and ask Him what you can do to bless your sweetie in the sack. Respect the other person and start incorporating agape into your eros. You’d easily ask what God would do to bless a friendship, why not here as well?  It sure makes it a lot easier for the man to say no to the constant bombardment of temptation and the woman as well. Just a tip here, be willing to do whatever God says. My hubby brought me a shoe-shelf one time and got me all hot and bothered. HA! Boy was he surprised! The point is; he was willing to bless me the way God asked and he does it everyday. I try to do the same. We became lifelong companions who are deeply in love. You can have this too! But you have to do it God’s way.

Now; just like in so many of my posts I talk about what God is okay with–and what isn’t Him at all. It really boils down to two things either you’re humble to God, or you’re prideful. Either you’ll do things God’s way, or you gotta do it your own way. This issue is problematic for either gender. Chauvinism (male or female), arrogance, ego, destructive behavior physically or mentally, these are on the pride side with anything. It goes for sex as well. If you are being this way towards another person…it actually destroys what is so great about great sex. If you are in a situation with someone, male or female like this, go to God. Ask if that will ever change. If not, ask God what to do about it. Every situation is unique. Sometimes a healing is required. Sometimes nothing can be done. That’s when you have to decide.

I’ll leave you with this verse.

“I [am] my beloved’s, and my beloved [is] mine…” Song of Songs 6:3a

God Bless You Today!

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