My family and I strolled along in Sam’s Club looking at the bulk mayonnaise and and laughed about eating it in every meal for the next year, when all of a sudden, “SHE“ walked around the corner.
She was my school-yard nemesis.
With razor-sharp insults and a wicked sense of humor I had been the butt of each cruel joke. This girl, now a woman, stood before me with no clue to her destructive devices.
She waved and I said, a lame, “Hello”. My heart thundered in my chest as my sweet husband, thinking she was an old friend, expounded to her all my recent painting conquests and our business successes, which she had already heard of. I waited for the sneer and lifted upper lip, accompanied by the usual sarcastic taunt.
The devil is a bully, and an accuser and full of insults. She had been his bludgeoning tool and my kryptonite.
My son spoke up and asked if she knew that he wanted a train set for his birthday. (He was so innocent.) My blood pressure spiked, my heart crashed and clattered against my rib cage. My instincts to protect him had me pulling him closer to my side.
She smiled and remarked at his wonderful choice of a train.
I tried to calm myself, but also puzzled at this very emotional reaction that was kicking up into a real storm. I asked myself, “What is it about this girl? She has obviously changed.” Then I knew.
As we walked away, I said nothing to my husband. How could I? He didn’t know that this woman had been one of the bullies I dreaded most during junior high and high school.
“Bretheren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize fo the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14
NOW what am I supposed to do God? I felt the pall of adolescent humiliation clenching my senses. I was in middle school gym class all over again as I stretched up to all of three inches tall as she looked down her nose at my few extra pounds. There’s no getting around that I “FEEL” a very specific emotion. So what do I do now? How can I be an over-comer?
How do I walk in love?
How do I salvage my standing on the promises of God? It must have been the same way for David, standing before Goliath.
A wise man once told me, “You can’t help it if a bird poops on your head, but you CAN keep it from building a nest there.” And a bird had just dropped a load the size of Texas on me. So now what was I going to do? How was I going from zero to hero?
After we finished shopping, I got in my car and took a breath. The pressing down on me still had its hold. I knew I’d been spiritually attacked as well as mentally. I knew that when the devil throws the past at you, whatever you do, don’t overreact. But there the emotions swirled. My heart still beating irregular, my palms were still very wet. What was I going to do? So I asked God, how do I get over this?
“Sing my songs.”
So I started singing. I sang loud and long, and probably off-key. Isaac watched from the back as my smile grew, my mind lifted, the whole of our presence and mood became light again. Every horrible memory, every mean thing and every tangible or intangible power she held over me disappeared.
Here’s what I took out of all this. No matter how big our britches get in the Word, we still live in this world. The devil can still find things to cause us confusion, but God is greater because He can help us solve things from the inside out. We don’t have to live as victims to the devil’s sick twisted games. I prayed for her. I prayed for her life. I prayed for her. And you can too.
Our emotions were given to us by a Holy and Loving Father, but they are not our masters. We still have freewill to overcome with God, or to let them, our emotions, run our lives. Fear, intimidation, and bullying, is never from God and God can help us defeat them. I’m not sure why I told you all this today, but maybe it will help you overcome too in a stressful situation.
“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsover state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:11-13
God bless you today.